Purely musical wishes.
If I could have one musical wish it would be playing with impeccable timing.
My sense of timing is off. It is, unfortunately, indicative my sense of timing in the real-world as well. I’m not sure what went wrong in my developmental years, but a good sense of timing somehow was left to the wayside.
Whether it is telling a joke, reading the room, being assertive, or playing music in a realiable way–beatwise–there has rarely been a time when I don’t get it off.
In my latest video, “Adagietto”, yes, there are some nicely timed portions. However, my impeccable lack of good timing never ceases to frustrate my efforts in the most important spots. For example, in the climax. The accompaniments are as close to smooth and seamless as I will get them–and that’s after postponing my post for a good 2 weeks and dozens of attempts to get it right (that’s only counting the times I recorded it).
I’m not sure why it is so hard for me, one who loves music and feels a deep emotional attachment to it, to play in time. Counting seems to be something foreign. Keeping my brain in the thick of things is almost an impossible task.
Yes, I put myself down. A lot. Everyday, in fact. Whenever somethings get off, even a little. Even if it may be imperceptible to most listeners, I can get quite hard on myself.
Maybe I should change my wish. Perhaps some miraculous change of attitude would be a better choice. Although it would not be a purely musical wish, it would, perhaps, have a great, positive affect on my sense of timing. I would hope, not only musically but also in my associations with others.